Being British

[Tyriac]

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything Foreign.

Oh and...... Only in Britain ... Can a pizza get to your house Faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain .... Do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions While healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain ... Do People order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain ... Do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain ... Do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain .... Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain .... Are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing of a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not Removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using Sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by Watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of Plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious Burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A Massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening Bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

And finally......... In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Idiots? I fit in well... I am proud to be British... Lol

[Yorke]

Wow, Britain fails.

[Scorsese]

Wow, Britain fails.

Soooo....which categories do you and Ora fit under? :>

[Yunz]

these happen in the US too bro

Only in Britain .... Do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions While healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Most def, the cigs are always up by the counters
when the pharmacies are all the way in the back, even at like Walgreens, which their main focus is a pharamcy

Only in Britain ... Do People order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

lol, they joke about this in commercials, and tv shows, it happens... a lot.

Only in Britain ... Do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Most people park their cars outside where I live
and throw all their useless shit in their garrage
I do that, they can steal my car, and when their found because I report it, they'll go to jail for a few years for grand theft.
They can steal my lawnmower, thats 15 years old, and I wont even report it.

Only in Britain .... Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

I use to do this, but now I just have a cell phone, and when I dont wanna talk to someone, I just hit the ignore button

Only in Britain .... Are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

Andddd! Everywhere in the US with parking spots has to have Disabled parking spots, by law. Even skating rinks.



I must admit
I did laugh
especially at the stupid things you brits did
but
i'm sure if you saw what americans did
you'd piss yourself, were a retarded nation =/

[Darkwarrior]

58 Brits are injured each year by using Sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

hey now, a sharp knife is just as good as a screw driver

[Scorsese]

A blunt knife makes a better screwdriver than a sharp one.

[Meka]

I just got this joke emailed to be about being American, word for word except ours had something about braille on the drive up ATM's, and of course, all your weird language was in English

[Yunz]

lol, there's braile on everything pretty much

[Oraphin]

Tyr u missed injuries due to ppl opening beer bottles with thier teeth. And Scor tht is the one i fit under

[Safersephx]

Tyr u missed injuries due to ppl opening beer bottles with thier teeth. And Scor tht is the one i fit under

A Massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening Bottles of beer with their teeth.

[Oraphin]

Mus have been drunk while reading it XD

I've never damaged my teeth tho. Only sliced my gum open when some1 knocked into me whilst opening said beer bottle