Facebook status updates that I don't understand

[Yorke]

These are some selected posts from my Facebook wall from this dude I went to elementary school with who friended me not long ago on Facebook. He usually gets like 10 people to "Like" these posts as if they have some informed knowledge of what's actually being discussed. Also, these are not filtered, meaning I didn't go through to find the best ones, these are in order from newest to older.

Bakk on tha grind 2day, tyme to gt this $$, fukk wt me... gt ya bands up homie, im so muhfukkn wavy nd im loven evry min of it hoffa at me!

I'm finally on top of my game, nd its still nt enuff 4 yu muhfukkas, fukk yu nd yu! I'm wavy bytch, dnt yu 4gt that...pay homage!!

whts poppn fb, yu knw me on my grind @ wrk fukkas, gt like me... I'm wavy bytch!

Muhfukka yu can't stop tha wave, I gt my own loop, I'm alwys on my A game! A mind that is real militant will gt yu far n this fukkd up world, yu musta 4gt... I'm wavy bytch!

[Dhiloda]

Thanks for reminding me why I quit facebook...

too many stupid people, posting stupid shit, that I don't give a shit about.

Basically, I'm too muhfukkn wavy for facebook.

[Yorke]

Basically, I'm too muhfukkn wavy for facebook.

touche

[ItsSeflol]

This is the reason I hate Facebook.

[Ploid]

This guy has psychological problems of some kind. Facebook is his outlet. He may be considering suicide. Check on him vedder.

[ItsSeflol]

Or let him do it and say bye bye to those messages.

[Bodycount]

Gonna have to side with Sef on this one.
I never started facebooking because it's retarded. Works to pick up sluts I guess but that's not hard without facebook so who cares rite?

[ItsSeflol]

Picking up chicks is beyond easy. Fine, ill let you fuckers in on my secret.
It takes 4 steps:
1. I like your boots.
2. Your hair is really nice, too.
3. Let her talk about where she got them and whatever stupid deal she got.
4. How about I buy you a drink and you tell me more?

That got me plenty of pussy.
Also works as a wing man setting your homie up.

[Ploid]

No, no no no no. Never tell them they look good or pretty. Be a bit rude but not too rude. They remember you more and try to get you to be nice. Don't pay much attention to them but keep them interested. Beware, this method might make them too obsessed with you. Be careful, you don't want a psycho messing up your day.

[ItsSeflol]

..but using my method you're out of their apartment at 4am.
Why pass when you can score?

[Ploid]

Mine was obviously a joke. However I never tried talking about their cute shoes and attire.

[Yorke]

uh, not all of my friends are as wavy as this guy

(ps: white or black?)

[Tomiko]

wtf is wavy?

[Dhiloda]

wtf is wavy?

If you have to ask, you're not muhfukkn wavy.

idk

[Ploid]

If you ask me, wavy is a white thing. Not that I would even know if it was or not, it just sounds like it's trying too hard. I'm too old to be talking like that anymore (never did lolz).

[Yorke]

bzzt

black

[Bodycount]

sorry brah
wavy is a blax invented word iirc

[Tomiko]

wtf is wavy?

If you have to ask, you're not muhfukkn wavy.

idk

[Bodycount]

wtf 79c for lays??
fuck you america

[ItsSeflol]

I gotta take out a loan to afford that shit here.