Ladies and gentlemen, I stand before you today to present an issue that plagues our society, our nation, and most importantly our youth. This is a problem that I suspect many of you are not aware of. In fact I would even suggest that some in this audience are deliberately ignorant of this issue, but I digress. Today I will address this matter and you will understand what the greatest threat to America is today. For too long, the American, the Christian, Internet has existed without guidelines, restrictions, or well enforced legislation, all the while the most horrid acts that can be committed are unveiled to our children. These acts of filth and debauchery are not the acts of good, wholesome, Americans, but of vile and despicable foreigners. Foreigners from every Godless, Atheistic nation in the world: Scotland, Pakistan, Mexico, Germany, and, perhaps the most evil of all modern nations, the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, to name but a few. And so I advise a solution to this disgusting leak of filth into our valued American society. Censorship, yes censorship, ladies and gentlemen, the greatest institution in a modern democratic society since the House Committee on Un-American Activities, will not only solve the problem of a filth-ridden and deprived Internet, but it will nearly instantaneously turn our children back to the prosperous, genuine, American culture that God has so generously bestowed on us, his chosen people.
Foreign cultures have always been misguided, sinful, cultures, comprising of misguided and sinful people, who are no more than sub-human. We have only to look back to recent history to see the horrors of foreign peoples. We see the Japanese, with their nation-wide racism towards all other people of this Earth and their twisted, pedophilic fetishes. There are the Soviets, who, in their lust for energy, have doomed their own people to radiation poisoning in the now desolate city of Pripyat. And of course we are all familiar by now with the heartless acts of cruelty and discrimination that the Iranian people have committed towards the Godless, but certainly savable, homosexuals in their nation. And so we must expel these horrors from the American Internet, or else our expressly human children will develop into the inhuman monsters that exist outside of America’s borders.
Censorship, to some deluded Americans, perhaps only the most unpatriotic of Americans, is considered to be wrong, to be an infringement on the rights of the people. I say to these treasonous subversives that censorship is the only way that we, as a modest, imperfect, people, can be protected from the repulsive slough that foreigners continue to spew into our Internet. In the past, parents have been provided with tools that can prevent their children from accessing foreign websites. These tools have failed America. Far too many parents do not employ these programs. At the same time, many adults, the people who are expected to present a Christian example to our children, peruse these foreign websites with little discrimination. The only way that America can be thoroughly protected from rest of this world is if our Internet is censored by the most powerful force on Earth, the United States Government.
To say any more on this topic would only encourage our foreign enemies to work harder to pollute our youth. And so, I must leave this fine, righteous, audience with a question. Will you allow your children to be transfigured into Atheistic, sexual deviants who want nothing more than to tear society down to its bare, undemocratic, even Communistic, foundations, or will you take the virtuous path and pursue the legislation that will eliminate all foreign content from the greatest, freest, country in the world’s Internet.
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