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The friend speech.
http://eden.gley.net/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=4538		 Page 1 of 4
Author:  Ploid [ Tue Nov 17, 2009 11:25 pm ]
Post subject:  The friend speech.
I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.

Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.

Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.

Best friends. Friends forever.
Author:  ItsSeflol [ Tue Nov 17, 2009 11:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
tl;dr?
Author:  Ploid [ Tue Nov 17, 2009 11:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
Sorry kid.

Image
Author:  ItsSeflol [ Wed Nov 18, 2009 12:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
Gotcha.
Author:  Yorke [ Wed Nov 18, 2009 2:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
HAHAHAHA

Best post in a while.

Don't worry, I'm sure that dude she's tagging drives a BMW or is from another country. If you have either of these qualities, then you are 99.9% capable of getting any American girl you want. They are absolutely retarded^^
Author:  Ploid [ Wed Nov 18, 2009 2:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
Yorke wrote:
HAHAHAHA

Best post in a while.

Don't worry, I'm sure that dude she's tagging drives a BMW or is from another country. If you have either of these qualities, then you are 99.9% capable of getting any American girl you want. They are absolutely retarded^^


... Not actually ._.



lol jk
Author:  Killer [ Wed Nov 18, 2009 4:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
My Camaro trumps your BMW. Girls love dat shit.
Author:  Ploid [ Wed Nov 18, 2009 4:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
Image
Author:  Bodycount [ Wed Nov 18, 2009 5:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
lol that was good
I hope this wasn't taken from a rl experience Ploid, otherwise it wouldn't be as amusing.
Author:  Ploid [ Wed Nov 18, 2009 5:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
I got it from the internetz. People always send me thing I'd probably find funny.
Author:  ItsSeflol [ Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
Went ahead and read that after VDs post.
Almost as bad as women drivers.
Author:  Scorsese [ Wed Nov 18, 2009 3:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
Women are the reason that homosexuality exists in the world.

lolwomen.

Hay Sef! :cat:
Author:  ItsSeflol [ Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
Hay Scorsexy!
You lied to me, you never use MSN. :(
Author:  Scorsese [ Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
Osry, my comp died on me so I had to replace it and I never bothered installing MSN :<

I'll install it sometime. But I have thought about you, and in the worst ways possible. :cat:
Author:  Ploid [ Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
ItsSeflol wrote:
Hay Scorsexy!
You lied to me, you never use MSN. :(


This cybering is getting me hot.
Author:  ItsSeflol [ Thu Nov 19, 2009 4:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
Werd. Plois I'll add you to PSN sometime.
Is it just Plois?
Author:  Yorke [ Thu Nov 19, 2009 5:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
There is one girl that I would marry right now if she asked me. I don't think she's THE hottest girl ever (she's still damn hot) but she is prolly the coolest chick I've ever seen in my life.

Michelle Beadle from Sports Nation on ESPN.

You have to watch that show sometime just to see how she acts if you haven't seen her before. Soooooo fkn cool.

Edit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCokF--YKc0
Author:  Ploid [ Thu Nov 19, 2009 8:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
Come on sef you know I was joking haha.

And yeah, fun, awesome, down to earth chicks >>>>> Chicks that are unbelievably hott, high maintenance, boring (eww that water is wet. There's no way I'm going to get in that), stuck up, & mean to other people.
Author:  ItsSeflol [ Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
wat
I was being srs, what's your PSN ID, I've always meant to add you.
Author:  Ploid [ Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The friend speech.
Ploid

Yeah odd name, and out of the blue I know. My sig always have my psn in it lol. It's not like I'm advertising my ffxi name.

Although I pretend that I like to play games online, I don't play online much. If I'm shown playing a game for a loooong time, I must be afk or playing Demon's Souls/Dragon Age. Could still be afk in those too though. If your PSN isn't Sef or some type of Sef word I might forget and delete it :(
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